By now you may have heard that Heritage Auto Repair is beginning a new blog and we simply aren’t ready for it. It seems these days like everyone has a blog with so-called “important information” that will bring “unbelievable amounts of value” to your life. If you’re anything like us, you know that such blogs are just silly. The fact is, everyone is going to experience problems with their life, jobs, family, and cars. The last thing you need is “field-specific experts” with an outside, unbiased, and even educated perspective telling you how to live your life. After all, if science has proven anything in the past hundred years it is that the best solution to problems is to avoid them until they become too big to manage. Because of this indispensable fact of life, we feel obligated to share three essential reasons for why you want to avoid Heritage Auto Repair’s informative new blog, which claims to make you an expert in maintaining your car, at all costs.
Ignorance is Bliss
So what if Heritage Auto Repair has over 500 five-star reviews testifying to a “completely satisfying experience.” Who’s to say you can’t be satisfied just as you are right now? Believe us, you don’t need the stress in your life of knowing that the sound your car’s brakes are making could be a sign that they will fail in two weeks, or, if you take your car on a road trip in its current condition there is no way it will make it all the way to your Oregon coast AirBnB. The facts are clear. The data is in. When it comes to your primary source of transportation, the less you know the happier you will be.
It Is Actually Better to Have Your Car Break
The idea that you should keep your car from breaking down is a total myth. We’ve been in the car industry long enough to know that a new model of car will come out every few months. And even though your car might only be two years old, the ultimate fulfillment for the human soul is to have the newest and coolest product on the market. The problem is, if your car is running as well as it will be after taking advice from The Heritage Blog, it will be really hard to justify buying one of these new cars. We suggest that instead of taking care of your car, you should actually avoid maintenance all together. Not only is it less to think about, but it also will give you an excuse every couple of years to drop another 40 grand on the newest Corolla Toyota has to offer. If you were to take care of your car like the “experts” say and save all that money by simple maintenance, then you would probably become unbearably boring whereas you would have to invest that money into objectively lame things like your retirement.
You Do Not Want To Lose Your Childhood Joys
American novelist Ellen Glasgow wrote “The older I grow the more earnestly I feel that the few joys of childhood are the best that life has to give.” The only possible way to interpret this quote is that you should never grow up, which intrinsically means you must dispose of any and all responsibility. If you need proof, look no further than Peter Pan, it worked out great for him! The very idea that Heritage Auto Repair’s new blog will be a quick and easy way to equip yourself to be a responsible car owner is a sure-fire way to take one step further from your care-free childhood, and thus, joy itself.
As you can see, this new blog that Heritage Auto Repair is rolling out is definitely something you should go out of your way to avoid. By all means do not like Heritage Auto Repair on Facebook or follow them on Instagram (@heritageautorepairmeridian) so that you can see when new blogs are posted. And unless you want people to think you are one of those “responsible and well-informed” types (we know. ew.) then make sure to not share any posts from The Heritage Blog with your friends or family. We sincerely hope this journalistic piece has helped you make a healthy decision of whether or not to keep an eye out for what Heritage has coming in the next few months. Thank you for reading.